Sex Addicts with Enmeshed Mothers

Sex Addicts with Enmeshed Mothers


Based on statistics, it is estimated that over 30 million people in the United States alone, suffer from a sexual addiction. Sexual addiction within itself is a largely misunderstood and taboo subject in many quarters of society. Those afflicted can usually identify that there is something unsettling or “off” about the nature of their sexual desire, but chose this emotional escape to avoid feelings. This can be a lonely and frustrating road, which leads to feelings of anger, frustration, alienation and issues of self-esteem.

Sexual addiction takes on various forms, and manifest itself through thoughts or behaviors that brings the victim sexual gratification. We will use this article to learn a bit about sex addicts with enmeshed mothers. This form of the sex addiction sees the son having a sexual preoccupation with his mother, and is also known as emotional incest or covert incest. It has its roots in the emotional absence of the father in the life of the mother and child.

Enmeshment occurs when the mother, due to the absence of a partner to fulfill her emotional needs, relies heavily on her children to step in and fill that need for her. This often involves presenting herself as the victim, while making the other parent out to be the villain. In order to get their way, these mothers may resort to shaming their children. It must be noted that this also occurs in nuclear families where the father, although physically present, is emotionally unavailable to his family. With the vast number of single mother homes throughout the nation, and normal family structures that are dysfunctional, it is not hard to see why the statistics reflect such a high number of sex addicts. Addiction through enmeshment is only one form of sex addiction.

Countless wives have difficulty with what they perceive to be a controlling mother-in-law who does not want to let go of her son, and refuses to acknowledge that another woman is now the centre of attention – the first lady in her son’s life. The emotional stress that such a mother places on her son is intense, and potentially destructive, and can cause him to become dysfunctional.

The long term effects of sexual addiction with enmeshed mothers plays out in the life of not just the affected male, but also in that of their spouse and their own children. The effects are therefore continuous, forming a destructive cycle that is best helped through sex therapy.

Mother enmeshed men (MEM) may resent their spouse for no apparent reason. Their masculinity was unsettled during childhood by the first woman in their life (their mother), and now this other female who seeks to become the first lady is seen as a threat to what’s left of that part of them. Their compulsive sexual behaviors are actually their way of trying to restore their false sense of masculinity.

The behaviors displayed by a MEM may reflect borderline personality disorders. These behaviors may include living a double-life, issues with severe intimacy, and struggling with feelings of chronic abandonment. They are also identified as highly sensitive males with a fragile ego and a severe case of narcissism.

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