How to build intimacy after infidelity

For a woman, intimacy in a relationship involves intimate shared moments, whether emotional, intellectual or sexual. When two persons have an intimate marriage, they communicate on many levels. While sharing certain common likes and dislikes matters, intimacy extends beyond mere shared commonalities. An intimate moment occurs when a man and woman are able to transcend the mundane world. A bond exists that unites their minds and souls even when they are apart.

Incompatibility is a Common Barrier to Intimacy

Incompatibility is a common barrier to experiencing an intimate relationship. Intimacy goes beyond chemistry. A good sexual relationship is not the only criteria that determines an intimate relationship. When two persons do not share common goals in life, incompatibility may rule the relationship and destroy the original spark.

Incompatibility Responds in Positive or Negative Ways to Change

Conflicting values, standards, morals, ethics, and ideals with your partner makes compatibility impossible.

A man and woman may start a personal relationship with many compatible bonds. However, as time goes on, each person’s beliefs, hopes and goals may change. When a person changes so drastically as to become a cheating stranger, incompatibility is often the cause. Belief in the same core values can help boost intimacy in a marriage. Infidelity often occurs when two persons no longer share common values.

  • People change over time.
  • Barriers to intimacy occur when core values differ.
  • Cheating is one way to cope with lack of intimacy.

Stress Prohibits Intimacy

Every person experiences stress. However, everyone can conquer stressful feelings via meditation, prayer, taking B-Complex vitamins or practicing deep breathing exercises. Conquering stress takes away the barrier in a marital relationship. When stressful emotions stop ruling the marriage, intimate moments are possible.

Resentment Due to Infidelity

When a wife confronts a cheating husband, resentment is bound to set in and take a stand. It is natural to resent a man who commits infidelity. A cheater breaks a bond based on trust. Resentment then takes the place of trustworthiness. The former marriage, which was once based on shared feelings and intimate moments, has now turned into a problematic relationship in which a trustful heart and mind has experienced a severe breakdown. Resentment is difficult to heal.

The initial shock of discovering an affair and the uncertainty it creates, often leads to the following reactions: depression, anger, shame, obsessive thoughts, dwelling on the details of the affair, inability to concentrate, and monitoring a spouse’s every move.

How to Eliminate a Resentful Heart

The key to eliminating a resentful mind and heart is to practice the art of forgiveness. A forgiving wife is better able to conquer resentful feelings. If a marriage is worth saving, resentment needs to make a quick and full exit. One way to meet this goal is to seek counseling. The wife needs to convince her husband that they need a marriage counselor.

I have had over 10 years of experience in counseling couples who have experienced infidelity. My experience indicates that it is possible to heal broken marriages if both partners want to reconcile. If the married couple mutually agrees that reconciliation is a real possibility, I am only too happy to offer compassionate counseling sessions based on the latest scientific research. Please feel free to call my office today.

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