The bane of today’s couples: The four horsemen!
September 2, 2021
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I’ve heard you mention the 4 Horsemen that rear their ugly heads for couples. Tell me a little bit about that? That is coined by
Why is communication so difficult for couples?
Communication can be difficult for couples because misunderstandings can occur when trying to express feelings, opinions, and thoughts. Additionally, couples may have different communication styles that can lead to misinterpretation, and struggle to connect with each other if they don’t understand each other’s style. Couples may also have difficulty communicating due to different levels of commitment, trust issues, or lack of knowledge about how to communicate effectively. Finally, unresolved conflicts and past hurts can also make communication difficult for couples.
What are the different types of communication styles that partners can have?
1. Passive Communication: This is when one partner avoids expressing their thoughts and feelings, and instead lets the other partner take the lead.
2. Aggressive Communication: This is when one partner expresses their thoughts and feelings in a very forceful way, often disregarding the feelings of the other partner.
3. Assertive Communication: This is when one partner is able to clearly and calmly express their thoughts and feelings without disrespecting the other partner.
4. Passive-Aggressive Communication: This is when one partner expresses their thoughts and feelings in a passive or aggressive way, or expresses them through indirect and subtle hints.
5. Nonverbal Communication: This is when one partner communicates their thoughts and feelings without using words, often through body language, facial expressions, and gestures.
What are the best ways for couples to improve communication?
1. Set aside time to talk: Scheduling regular time to talk and discuss issues can help couples stay on the same page and avoid misunderstandings.
2. Speak in “I” statements: Speaking in “I” statements can help couples express their feelings and concerns without blaming their partner.
3. Listen actively: Active listening is key for improving communication and understanding between partners.
4. Learn to compromise: Learning to compromise and find solutions that both partners can agree on can help couples resolve conflicts in a healthy way.
5. Take a break: Taking a break from a difficult conversation can help both partners calm down and come back to the conversation with a fresh perspective.
6. Seek help: If communication is breaking down, couples should consider seeking professional help from a couples therapist.
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Married couples find all sorts of challenges during their marriage. One of the most prevalent is keeping communication open and effective between the two spouses.