Stage Three: Life Breakdown

sex therapy & relationships

Stage Three: Life Breakdown

 

Addict’s life will literally start breaking down (emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally) under the stress caused by the pain, fear, and anger that results from all the acting out.

 

Acting out no longer produces pleasure. The pain is inevitable.

 

Start behaving in ways we never thought possible, we get to a point where our own behavior scares us and does not even make sense to us.

 

By this point the addict will not be able to break the process with out some form of intervention (family, job, legal, GOD).

 

Lifestyle (acting out and using) becomes a ritual, and the Addict clings to a very rigid lifestyle and becomes uncomfortable with any change. Fear of the unknown. The Addict becomes comfortable with the pain because at least it’s familiar. New situations become a nightmare for the Addict (Treatment)

 

Addict has so many unresolved and stuffed feelings that they reach a point of great emotional weakness (crying uncontrollably, fits of rage for no apparent reason).

 

Paranoia sets in. “Why” becomes a torturous question that is constantly asked internally.

 

Start to question their ability to be around other people and feel people can see right through them.

Ability to manipulate takes self-confidence and the addict has lost this confidence.

 

By this stage the only people that stay around the Addict are those that feel they have to out of responsibility or pity, or who feel too guilty to leave.

 

Addicts may totally withdraw from others. Afraid of intimacy (In Too Me See) and stays away from it.

 

Others are the cause of my problems, No one understands me.

 

The Self Not Wanting To Be Alone

 

Deep inside the Addict craves an emotional connection with others. Afraid of ending up alone. Due to desperation they show a child-like quality: they (The Self) cling to others and may become emotionally dependent. They become very upset if they feel people are withdrawing from them.

 

Ex. A loved one leaves the house: Where are you going? When will you be back?

 

Please don’t leave I promise I’ll change.

Leave no one cares about me anyway (victim)

You can’t leave you are all I have.

 

The Addict wants to be alone but the Self is terrified of being alone.

 

Social Problems

Job problems, Arrests, Illegal activities, Financial problems

 

Suicidal Thoughts

The pain is too great and no amount of drugs or alcohol gives us relief anymore. The person does not believe in the Self anymore and suicide starts to make sense.

 

They begin to feel so much shame and hatred towards the addictive side of themselves that they will do whatever it takes.

 

No one hates the Addict more than the person suffering from the addiction.

 

To recover Addicts must learn a new lifestyle and begin building trust and relationships with other people.

Addict’s world is based on a take relationship they must learn to reach outward. This can not be done alone.

 

Addict needs to begin building an inner strength. (12 &12 p. 116).

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