Miami Sex Therapist on Low Sexual Desire

sex therapy & relationships

Miami Sex Therapist on Low Sexual Desire

A lack of sexual desire is not as uncommon as many people may be led to believe. The libido refers to the desire for sexual activity or sexual drive and varies from one person to the next. There is no one specific standard that can be issued for the level of  sexual desire and not only do desires vary among individuals, but the same person can have a varied sexual desire throughout their life span.

What is Hypoactive Desire?
One of the most common conflicts among couples is the inequality of sexual desire. When one partner has little to no interest in sex, despite all of the best efforts, it is easy to become confused as to what the reasons may be. Without the proper guidance, such as from a sex therapist, Miami couples may characterize the problem in incorrect ways, to the point that it can destroy a relationship. There are a multitude of causes for low sexual desire, some may be interpersonal, while others may psychological, but neither of these reasons necessarily are reasons to classify low sexual desire as a disorder. A distinguished problem only becomes a diagnosis if it has diminished the individuals quality of life, creates suffering or when the problem becomes irresolvable. Low sexual desire also referred to as hypoactive sexual desire can occur from relationship problems as easily as it can cause them.

Sexuality is a crucial and complex aspect among couples; however, there is no specific frequency of sexual activity that is considered to be “normal”. The sexual desires as well as the responsiveness of partners differ between women and men and the assumption of equality falsely suggests the existence of a low sexual desire disorder. For the majority of people, sexuality is healthy as long as it does not create emotional turmoil or distress for either partner. Partners who attempt to use comparisons for the degree of sexual desire early in the relationship to the degree of desire as the relationship progresses tend to experience conflicts that may not necessary be the underlying result of hypoactive desire. It is also important to note that expectations of a decrease in sexual desire is thought to be unavoidable with long term relationships, but it the reasons for the expectations are unclear as it could be due to familiarity among partners or age related. It is also important to note that in the majority of situations, low sexual desire is treatable and an expert such as many Miami sex therapists, believe the sexual spark of any relationship can survive throughout the life span of the relationship.

Low Sexual Desire: Symptoms
The loss of sexual desire or inhibited sexual desire is typically defined as one partner’s lack of response to their initiations of sexual activity. If a person has low sexual desire he/she will not start or respond to their partners yearn for sexual activity. Inhibited sexual desire may be primary, meaning the person has never had feelings for or an interest in sexual activities or it may be secondary, meaning the person used to have sexual desire, but no longer has the desire. Other symptoms of low sexual desire may include:

  • Erectile dysfunction
  • Low level of sexual interest
  • Absence of sexual fantasies
  • Sexual arousal disorder
  • Recurring lack of desire
  • Anxiety which inhibits sexual performance

Low Sexual Desire: Causes
Relationship experts and sex therapists in Miami report that one of the primary causes of libido loss is resentment of a partner, anger and a partner that is overly critical. Being ignored of ones needs is also a primary concern for many couples and can quickly halt sexual desire. Secrets in a relationship can often affect the trust between partners and impair the communications as well as cause low sexual desire. When secrets are left undisclosed or at least undisguised with a therapist, they can become a lethal weapon among couples. There are a multitude of causes why someone may have low sexual desire, including:

  • Physical causes could be due to a change in the endocrine hormones
  • Depression is one of the primary psychological causes for low sexual desire
  • Fatigue
  • Stress
  • Childhood sexual abuse
  • Fear of failure
  • Lack of feelings for partner
  • Guilt regarding previous sexual partners or activities
  • Problems with body image

Sexual Desire in Men
It is now thought that sexual desire in men is biologically driven as opposed to women whose desires are thought to be reflected through culture and the context of sex in society. Low sexual desire is typically thought to be associated with women; however, men can also experience inhibited sexual desire. Men often experience a decrease in sex drive as a result of heavy drug and/or alcohol use. Clinicians have also reported that one of the causes for diminished sexual activity in relationships may be due to an excessive use of pornography that is readily available on the internet.miami marriage counselor

Sexual Desire in Women
The sexual desire in women when compared to males is often highly fragile and extremely complex, as a female sexual desire is related more to psychology than biology. A woman’s sexual desire is typically related to what is currently going on in their life, how they view themselves and their view on their partner’s style of lovemaking. However, the majority of experts are in agreement in the thought that a lower sexual desire is more predominate in females than in males and that a decrease in a female’s sexual desire is more problematic in a relationship.

Does Age Have an Effect on Libido?
Sexual desire may, but not always, decrease with age. Although there are a number of myths surrounding age and sexual desire, mainly which it always declines with age, the truth is in many situations sexual desire may increase with age. For women, a reduced libido may occur during their late 40’s and early 50’s due to a drop in estrogen levels as a result of menopause. However, in many cases, the onset of menopause may increase the sexual desire for many women, especially those who feel a sense of liberation from contraceptives or a sense of privacy due to their children leaving home. As men age, they may experience physical problems that may interfere with erection and/or ejaculation which can cause a decrease in libido. Also men who are at retirement age, divorce at an older age or become widowed may experience a decrease in libido due to the psychological changes in their life.

Low Sexual Desire: Treatment
In many situations, the best treatment to overcome low sexual desire is to seek treatment with a professional sex therapist in Miami. Often times there are conflicts, secrets, resentments or personal problems that may be interfering with the couple’s sexual relations and a therapist can help the couple by first working through the cause of the problem as well as provide solutions that may help to increase the sexual desire among couples. Depression, anxiety and stress are all leading causes of low sexual desire and for many couples the resolution involves therapy such as cognitive behavioral therapy, which is beneficial for the psychological aspects of low sexual desire. It is important to keep in mind that there is no magic pill to restore the sexual desire in men or women. The most effective treatment is gained through education for the couple, including teaching the basics of arousal, communications and awareness of each partner.

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