How couples tackle differences with respect to child rearing

sex therapy & relationships-2

Another issue that couples present after they have kids is with child rearing, different points of view, different ways that they would do things. What’s important to one person may not necessarily be important to the other one, and that sometimes brings a lot of conflict. One of the things that we explore is why is that important to you? Why is the other example important to your partner?

For example, I’m working with a couple where for the day, the sports is really important, and for the mom, she could care less about the sports. Really, the gentleman is very much into sports, and that’s how he connected with his dad. For him, it’s all about connecting with his son. The mom was never into sports. She came from a divorced home. She connected with her mom through getting their hair done, doing shopping, so she’s constantly worried, because that is really how she presents, very worried about what the little girl’s going to wear and getting her haircuts and doing other things with her child to connect.

It’s really about both people, there’s no wrong, there’s no right. It’s just understanding each other and why it’s important to the individual, and then validating that for the person. Also, for each of them to understand that they’re two different human beings. Two different human beings are going to have two different ways of doing things, and to stop getting into the, “This is more important than yours.” It’s important to the person. That’s definitely another issue that I’ve seen with couples after they have kids is the child …

 

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