A Solution For Him…and more importantly a Solution for YOU!
Get clear guidance on what has continued to work Charlene’ private practice and ALSO in her personal life.
No more Shame
No More Resentment
No More Anger
No More Fear.
Get love, support, and an education on what you need to do right NOW!
FOR HIM: STOP and STAY STOPPED – using bleeding edge methodology based on science, by leading sex addiction experts.
Find out how other women, not only survive, but THRIVE despite their husbands addiction. Discover the step by step system used by the world’s #1 Sex Addiction Treatment Facility to achieve sobriety.
See What Our Clients Are Saying…
Keith M – Professional Athlete
“They give you the recipe, ingredients, and bake the cake with you over and over again until you get it. I can now bake my own recovery cake. I have my life back. It takes practice: falling down, getting up, and re-applying the tools with a experiential knowledge. The system helped me develop “smart feet”, that keep me in recovery.”
Javier L – Attorney
“These guys saved my marriage, carrier, but most importantly they saved my life. Not only are they masters in the field of sex addiction, they seem to intuitively know what challenges the client faces and communicates what to do, in a no nonsence fashion. Brutally honest, I love this about them. Run, don’t walk!”
Giovanni B – Sales Consultant
New York, NY
“I entered into Charlene’s group not knowing if it would help. I felt I had tried everything, and NOTHING was working. I am amazed at what I have learned about myself, my addiction, and the new strategies that I can use to stay sober. Shame and powerlessness have given way to a new way of living, with dignity and true intimacy. A big thank you to both of them just doesn’t cover it.
Certified Sex Therapists and Sex Addiction Therapists
Recovery is fragile in the beginning. Why settle for anything less than certified experts in the field of sex and sex addiction?
The Return 2 Intimacy Story
Co-Founders Charlene and Joshua Lewis
Experience – Strength – Hope
LCSW, CAP, AASECT/ITAAP CERTIFIED SEX ADDICTION THERAPIST
Co-Founder Return 2 Intimacy
Hi I am Charlene Lewis – a Sex Addiction therapist with over 15 years of clinical experience treating addiction. I also have over 15 years of real world, personal experience in sobriety.
Co-Founder: Return 2 Intimacy
Hi I am Joshua Lewis – a recovery coach with over 17 years of real life experience in sobriety from alcohol, substances, compulsive work, and sex addiction. My life’s mission is to help others suffering from sex addiction.
I always believed that my life was a gift, which I had great responsibility to make use of.
I was blessed with the ability to do well in school, and form great friendships. I had a loving supportive family that like every other family, had it’s issues. But with me there was a problem….
By age 9, I was carrying a dirty little secret that I couldn’t share with anyone else.
I was introduced to pornography by a cousin at the age of 6, which became my first love and first addiction.
I would later steal for it. I would skipped school for it. I put myself in harms way for it, because It made me feel alive.
I began to feel disconnected.
I felt broken…..like damaged goods.
Before I had finished middle school, I was immersed in an existence of toxic shame.
I couldn’t look people in the eyes because of this shame, and felt more anxiety and depression with every passing year.
During my late teens couldn’t keep a relationship because I simply wasn’t interested.
I had the safety of pornography.
I had the comfort of massage parlors.
When the internet took off in 1996 , I didn’t stand a chance.
Day after day I fell into this trance where one fantasy after the next might become reality; with just one more video, one more pic, one more click.
While my friends were dating and experiencing love and healthy sexuality in college, I would act out, self medicate with drugs and alcohol, and eventually fail out.
By this time, I had become convinced that there was something very wrong with me, as I started to visiting massage parlors more frequently.
I started to wonder if I was perhaps dealing with some mental disorder, and that I was going crazy.
I couldn’t imagine a joyful life continuing to act out, yet couldn’t bare the idea of letting it go.
I felt trapped, stuck, and KNEW that I NEEDED to stop.
Despite all of my self-hatred and disgust, despite my attempts to stop, I simply couldn’t STAY STOPPED for more than a few days.
Dozens of psychotherapy sessions and shelves of self-help books just could’t seem to make him feel whole again.
Alcohol and drugs soon became my way to cope.
Yet they couldn’t come close to alleviating his shame for more than a few moments, even as the amounts that he ingested increased.
I remember going to bars full of college merriment, go to the bathroom, and stare into the mirror and feeling completely lost.
I didn’t know who it was, that was looking at whom. This realization terrified me.
Eventually by the age of 26 helplessness and hopelessness grew to a point where I could no longer cope with life living in his own skin.
On some subconscious level, I had decided to end life.
On the morning of April 23rd 2003 I woke up in the hospital and was told that I was brought back to life a few days earlier, and that they had pumped my stomach, which was full of alcohol and pills.
And then something happened….
Miracle #1: I threw myself into the world of 12 step recovery and something truly amazing happened!
At this point in my life I had nothing to lose, and became open to a new way of thinking.
I was detoxed and spent two months in a treatment facility where we had intense group therapy, one on one therapy, and were taken to 12 step meetings.
After fully accepting that there was no other motive at these meetings but to help people get sober, I fully put aside my skepticism and blindly followed suggestions, working the 12 steps to the best of my ability.
Low and behold something miraculous happened…..it worked! I hadn’t been able to stay substance free for more than a few days, in over a decade.
A decade of Miracles: One year, two years, ten years passed without drugs, alcohol and MOST all compulsive sex stuff except…pornography.
I sought help from a therapist specializing in sex addiction and re-processed past trauma in a safe environment.
Discovered the 12 step fellowship of Adult Children of Alcoholics (for really any member of a family with some dysfunction, or all of us), and connected with it’s idea of an internal critical parent, a loving parent, and an inner child.
Realized that when I had gone to sex addiction related 12 step groups it became clear that recovery rates were just not as good as they were in other fellowships. Relapse was MUCH more frequent.
Sitting in a mens meeting of my core 12 step fellowship, I listened to one member after the other (most all with long term, SOLID double digit sobriety) lament that they were still struggling with pornography.
I began reading the work of Sex Addiction pioneer, Patrick Carnes, whom my wife had studied under as a sex addiction specialist herself. I began to appreciate the power of shame in keeping people in active addiction.
I was attending 12 step meetings for yet one more compulsion (WORK) and incorporated their Daily Spiritual Action Plan into my daily life…..rigorously.
Miracle #2: I had slowly developed a habit of using the tools to STAY STOPPED. Sobriety started to click!
I began working with other sex addicts, from all walks of life, to achieve and maintain sobriety. I learned a lot about what works, and what does not! I also was able to stay sober in helping others.
Simply sharing with these gentlemen what had worked for me, they managed to get sober!
Is lasting sobriety possible?
A resounding HELL YES! If anyone tells you otherwise, they are lying or tremendously misinformed. It IS very simple, but does not feel EASY or intuitive in the beginning. It is like learning to ride a bike. In the beginning we often fall off and get some bumps and bruises, but sooner than later, one day at a time we get cruisin’!
The 5 False Beliefs That Made Recovery IMPOSSIBLE!
#1: Sex addiction does not exist!
(Only people who get caught cheating use it as an excuse for bad behavior)
The most commonly used definition for addiction is “compulsive use despite adverse consequences.” If you cannot STAY STOPPED AND prevent negative consequences you are likely a sex addict! If you could have stopped, you likely would have already! Staying stopped is pretty self explanatory. Adverse consequences can be “big” or “small,” however they are exactly what they are. Examples:
- Getting arrested.
- Contracting a disease.
- Physical harm.
- Getting caught by spouse.
- Losing a job.
- Failed relationships or divorce.
- Feeling anxious and shame ridden.
- Losing large amounts of time.
- Losing large amounts of money.
- Losing friendships, and or a social life.
- Feeling completely isolated.
- Having to medicate feeling of shame with alcohol or drugs.
- …and many, many more!
#2: I can fix this problem myself!
How has that worked out for you so far? Trying to fix the problem (thinking;/behavior) with the problem (a brain that rationalizes, minimizes, forgets the harm and emotional pain experience when acting out), had me chasing my tail a very, very long time!
I had to ask myself: “Do I have more time or pain to spare?”
We at Return2Intimacy.com are here for you when you are “sick and tired of feeling sick and tired!”
Trying to “fix” this problem alone is something that I personally wish I would not have been so brazenly stubborn to try.
Most sex addicts experience this as a hopelessly futile, and exhausting road to go down. I get it! I don’t like asking for help finding something at Walmart, even though I would surely get my needs met much more quickly doing so.
Simple question: do you want to be “right” or do you want to be happy?
#3: “I just like sex a lot, but wouldn’t qualify as a sex addict per se!”
Of course there is nothing wrong with a rich, wonderful, enjoyable sex life! Is that what you are experiencing though? Have you taken a SEX ADDICTION SCREENING TEST? Answering HONESTLY in the affirmative to more than 13 questions indicates that you are likely one of many millions of sex addicts.
#4: “I believe that I am a sex addict, but it is not that bad.”
You can address it when it gets worse? Really? Yes the elevator might be going down, but you can get off at any time you like! Why not get out now? Some say that the first step to getting yourself out of a hole is to stop digging! It could be argued that there is a step before that: knowing that you are in a hole in the first place. Will you have the opportunity to stop before unintended consequences surely come about?
#5: You believe that it’s beyond your control and blame outside factors.
“Everyone is a sex addict! Sex is everywhere! Everyone is looking at porn or got something on the side? It is a part of our culture and there is no way to avoid it.” The essence of this argument is that the problem is “out there” somewhere and certainly not right here in the mirror. Either you are a sex addict or you are not. Either you are destined to suffer in silence as a victim, or you can actually participate in a solution. The good news is that YOU are the only one who can determine whether or not you associate with the term “sex addict” as defined above. It is no one else’s business but your own. Only YOU can address it. You would not be the first, nor the last.
The excuses, and rationalizations can, and most often do, go on ad nauseam. You have likely seen our video that covers over 50 more!
If you’re skeptical – welcome to the club!
Nearly EVERY SINGLE PERSON that has recovered from sex addiction believed at one point that they could NOT do it.
NOT ONE PERSON that we have worked with has NOT felt at least some doubt.
And yet they walk through the doubt, and it happens, ALL THE TIME!
Recover From Home
The world’s FIRST Remote Recovery Program! Learn to use the tools needed to maintain recovery from the comfort of your own home.
Lifetime Access : 30-Day Money Back Guarantee
Take the introductory course “Am I A Sex Addict” risk-free with a 30-Day, no questions asked, Money-Back Guarantee. Any purchase comes with lifetime access.
Dr. Patrick Carnes
Program created by Sex Addiction pioneer Patrick Carnes, whose facilities treat the “who’s who” in sex addiction.
AM I A SEX ADDICT
WHO IS THIS INTRODUCTORY COURSE FOR?
Those who are contemplating the possibility that they, or a loved one, is suffering from sex addiction. The course highlights all of its hallmark signs and varying degrees of severity. Finally, it explores the options available to treat the addiction.
What is included?
- Over 57 Videos Explaining Exactly what Sex Addiction Is, and what it IS NOT.
- Highlights available options to treat the disease.
Weeks 1: Pre-Module Education
Understanding the Disease of Sex Addiction
- What to do if you are struggling with sex addiction.
- In Depth Description the 3 stages of Sex addiction.
- How to find out if you are a sex addict.
- Best choices for recovery from sex addiction.
- Learn who is a sex addict and what it is defined by.
- Learn the 10 Criteria for sex addiction.
- Learn how sex addiction compares to other addictions
- Learn some of the causes of sex addiction.
- Learn about the root causes of sex addiction.
- Learn what current science says about sex addiction.
- Learn about interaction with other addictions
- Learn Why Sex Addicts cannot “simply stop”
- What help is available for sex addiction?
- What is the prognosis for sex addiction?
- 50 Beliefs that keep Sex addicts sick.
- How do sex addicts heal?
- The roll of cybersex in sex addiction.
- When the best time to get help is.
Sex Addiction: The Three Stages
- 1 – Stage 1: Introduction
- 2 – Stage 1 -Dependence Both Physical and Mental Withdrawal
- 3 – Stage 1 – Creation of Alter EGO THE ADDICT – A new persona
- 4 – Stage 1 – BREAKING THE addictive cycle within one’s self
- 5 – Stage 1 – Who can become an addict
- 6 – Stage 1 – Self Abandoning – Growth of the Addict
- 7 – Stage 1 – Shame Cycle Negative feedback loop of addiction
- 8 – Stage 1 – Forgoing Healthy activities and relationships for the addiction
- 9 – Stage 1 – Addiction compounds and quckens with negative feedback loop
- 1 – Stage II Lifestyle change
- 2 – Stage II- Behavioral Change is Most Evident
- 3 – Stage II – Gaslighting
- 4 – Stage II – Dependence on Process Substance becomes cemented
- 5 – Stage II – Defense Mechanisms of the addict develop
- 6 – Stage II – Self fully surrenders to the addict
- 7 – Stage II – People Problems
- 8 – Stage II – Manipulation Mechanics of the Addict
- 9 Stage II – Family and friends Label Addict – Justifies more addictive behavior
- 10 – Stage II- Addict Develops Confidence in Manipulations True Self a spectator
- 11 – Stage II – How therapy can help in Stage 2
- 12 – Stage II – Spiritual and Emotional Bankruptcy – Addict now fully isolates
- 13 – Stage II – Spiritual Malady Defined
- 14 – Stage II – Intensity vs Intimacy
- 1 – Stage 3 – Intro
- 2 – Stage 3 – Acting Out and Using Yields No Pleasure – All Pain
- 3 – Stage 3 – Intervention now likely the only choice
- 4 – Stage 3 – The Addicts Lifestyle in Final Stage
- 5 – Stage 3 – Prospect of Change – Recovery Becomes Terrifying
- 6 – Stage 3 – Extreme Sellf-Consciousness fear shame
- 7 – Stage 3 – The best time to stop the progression is NOW
- 8 – Stage 3 – Addict now fully places blame for suffering on others
- 9 – Stage 3 – The Child Comes Forth
- 10 – Stage 3 – Suicidal Thoughts
- 11 – Stage 3 – Addiction a chronic and fatal mental illness
- 12 – Stage 3 – SOLUTIONS
- 13 – Stage 3 – Reforming Healthy Dependence – Starting with therapist
- 14 – Stage 3 – Addict in recovery begins to Give instead of take
Am I A Sex Addict?
Get The Answers You Need
- Sex Addiction The Complete Guide (20 Videos) $499 Value
- The 3 Stages of Sex Addiction (36 Videos) $399 Value
- 50 Barriers to Recovery Video $199 Value