Find out how other women, not only survive, but THRIVE despite their husbands addiction. Discover the step by step system used by the world’s #1 Sex Addiction Treatment Facility to achieve sobriety.
Chicago, Il
“They give you the recipe, ingredients, and bake the cake with you over and over again until you get it. I can now bake my own recovery cake. I have my life back. It takes practice: falling down, getting up, and re-applying the tools with a experiential knowledge. The system helped me develop “smart feet”, that keep me in recovery.”
Miami, Fl
“These guys saved my marriage, carrier, but most importantly they saved my life. Not only are they masters in the field of sex addiction, they seem to intuitively know what challenges the client faces and communicates what to do, in a no nonsence fashion. Brutally honest, I love this about them. Run, don’t walk!”
New York, NY
“I entered into Charlene’s group not knowing if it would help. I felt I had tried everything, and NOTHING was working. I am amazed at what I have learned about myself, my addiction, and the new strategies that I can use to stay sober. Shame and powerlessness have given way to a new way of living, with dignity and true intimacy. A big thank you to both of them just doesn’t cover it.
Recovery is fragile in the beginning. Why settle for anything less than certified experts in the field of sex and sex addiction?
Experience – Strength – Hope
LCSW, CAP, AASECT/ITAAP CERTIFIED SEX ADDICTION THERAPIST
Co-Founder Return 2 Intimacy
Hi I am Charlene Lewis – a Sex Addiction therapist with over 15 years of clinical experience treating addiction. I also have over 15 years of real world, personal experience in sobriety.
Co-Founder: Return 2 Intimacy
Hi I am Joshua Lewis – a recovery coach with over 17 years of real life experience in sobriety from alcohol, substances, compulsive work, and sex addiction. My life’s mission is to help others suffering from sex addiction.
I was blessed with the ability to do well in school, and form great friendships. I had a loving supportive family that like every other family, had it’s issues. But with me there was a problem….
By age 9, I was carrying a dirty little secret that I couldn’t share with anyone else.
I was introduced to pornography by a cousin at the age of 6, which became my first love and first addiction.
I would later steal for it. I would skipped school for it. I put myself in harms way for it, because It made me feel alive.
I began to feel disconnected.
Alone.
I felt broken…..like damaged goods.
Before I had finished middle school, I was immersed in an existence of toxic shame.
During my late teens couldn’t keep a relationship because I simply wasn’t interested.
I had the safety of pornography.
I had the comfort of massage parlors.
When the internet took off in 1996 , I didn’t stand a chance.
Day after day I fell into this trance where one fantasy after the next might become reality; with just one more video, one more pic, one more click.
While my friends were dating and experiencing love and healthy sexuality in college, I would act out, self medicate with drugs and alcohol, and eventually fail out.
By this time, I had become convinced that there was something very wrong with me, as I started to visiting massage parlors more frequently.
I couldn’t imagine a joyful life continuing to act out, yet couldn’t bare the idea of letting it go.
I felt trapped, stuck, and KNEW that I NEEDED to stop.
Despite all of my self-hatred and disgust, despite my attempts to stop, I simply couldn’t STAY STOPPED for more than a few days.
Dozens of psychotherapy sessions and shelves of self-help books just could’t seem to make him feel whole again.
Alcohol and drugs soon became my way to cope.
Yet they couldn’t come close to alleviating his shame for more than a few moments, even as the amounts that he ingested increased.
I didn’t know who it was, that was looking at whom. This realization terrified me.
Eventually by the age of 26 helplessness and hopelessness grew to a point where I could no longer cope with life living in his own skin.
On some subconscious level, I had decided to end life.
On the morning of April 23rd 2003 I woke up in the hospital and was told that I was brought back to life a few days earlier, and that they had pumped my stomach, which was full of alcohol and pills.
At this point in my life I had nothing to lose, and became open to a new way of thinking.
I was detoxed and spent two months in a treatment facility where we had intense group therapy, one on one therapy, and were taken to 12 step meetings.
After fully accepting that there was no other motive at these meetings but to help people get sober, I fully put aside my skepticism and blindly followed suggestions, working the 12 steps to the best of my ability.
Low and behold something miraculous happened…..it worked! I hadn’t been able to stay substance free for more than a few days, in over a decade.
I sought help from a therapist specializing in sex addiction and re-processed past trauma in a safe environment.
Discovered the 12 step fellowship of Adult Children of Alcoholics (for really any member of a family with some dysfunction, or all of us), and connected with it’s idea of an internal critical parent, a loving parent, and an inner child.
Realized that when I had gone to sex addiction related 12 step groups it became clear that recovery rates were just not as good as they were in other fellowships. Relapse was MUCH more frequent.
Sitting in a mens meeting of my core 12 step fellowship, I listened to one member after the other (most all with long term, SOLID double digit sobriety) lament that they were still struggling with pornography.
I began reading the work of Sex Addiction pioneer, Patrick Carnes, whom my wife had studied under as a sex addiction specialist herself. I began to appreciate the power of shame in keeping people in active addiction.
I was attending 12 step meetings for yet one more compulsion (WORK) and incorporated their Daily Spiritual Action Plan into my daily life…..rigorously.
I began working with other sex addicts, from all walks of life, to achieve and maintain sobriety. I learned a lot about what works, and what does not! I also was able to stay sober in helping others.
Simply sharing with these gentlemen what had worked for me, they managed to get sober!
A resounding HELL YES! If anyone tells you otherwise, they are lying or tremendously misinformed. It IS very simple, but does not feel EASY or intuitive in the beginning. It is like learning to ride a bike. In the beginning we often fall off and get some bumps and bruises, but sooner than later, one day at a time we get cruisin’!
The most commonly used definition for addiction is “compulsive use despite adverse consequences.” If you cannot STAY STOPPED AND prevent negative consequences you are likely a sex addict! If you could have stopped, you likely would have already! Staying stopped is pretty self explanatory. Adverse consequences can be “big” or “small,” however they are exactly what they are. Examples:
How has that worked out for you so far? Trying to fix the problem (thinking;/behavior) with the problem (a brain that rationalizes, minimizes, forgets the harm and emotional pain experience when acting out), had me chasing my tail a very, very long time!
I had to ask myself: “Do I have more time or pain to spare?”
We at Return2Intimacy.com are here for you when you are “sick and tired of feeling sick and tired!”
Trying to “fix” this problem alone is something that I personally wish I would not have been so brazenly stubborn to try.
Most sex addicts experience this as a hopelessly futile, and exhausting road to go down. I get it! I don’t like asking for help finding something at Walmart, even though I would surely get my needs met much more quickly doing so.
Simple question: do you want to be “right” or do you want to be happy?
Of course there is nothing wrong with a rich, wonderful, enjoyable sex life! Is that what you are experiencing though? Have you taken a SEX ADDICTION SCREENING TEST? Answering HONESTLY in the affirmative to more than 13 questions indicates that you are likely one of many millions of sex addicts.
You can address it when it gets worse? Really? Yes the elevator might be going down, but you can get off at any time you like! Why not get out now? Some say that the first step to getting yourself out of a hole is to stop digging! It could be argued that there is a step before that: knowing that you are in a hole in the first place. Will you have the opportunity to stop before unintended consequences surely come about?
“Everyone is a sex addict! Sex is everywhere! Everyone is looking at porn or got something on the side? It is a part of our culture and there is no way to avoid it.” The essence of this argument is that the problem is “out there” somewhere and certainly not right here in the mirror. Either you are a sex addict or you are not. Either you are destined to suffer in silence as a victim, or you can actually participate in a solution. The good news is that YOU are the only one who can determine whether or not you associate with the term “sex addict” as defined above. It is no one else’s business but your own. Only YOU can address it. You would not be the first, nor the last.
Nearly EVERY SINGLE PERSON that has recovered from sex addiction believed at one point that they could NOT do it.
NOT ONE PERSON that we have worked with has NOT felt at least some doubt.
And yet they walk through the doubt, and it happens, ALL THE TIME!
The world’s FIRST Remote Recovery Program! Learn to use the tools needed to maintain recovery from the comfort of your own home.
Take the introductory course “Am I A Sex Addict” risk-free with a 30-Day, no questions asked, Money-Back Guarantee. Any purchase comes with lifetime access.
Program created by Sex Addiction pioneer Patrick Carnes, whose facilities treat the “who’s who” in sex addiction.
Those who are contemplating the possibility that they, or a loved one, is suffering from sex addiction. The course highlights all of its hallmark signs and varying degrees of severity. Finally, it explores the options available to treat the addiction.
Sex Addiction: The Complete Guide
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